Event planning—whether for a wedding, corporate gala, or family celebration—brings both excitement and challenges. Balancing costs, personal preferences, and guest expectations can quickly make decision-making feel overwhelming. However, with the right tools and approach, these choices become much more manageable.
As a behavioral economist, I use decision-making principles and practical tools to simplify complex choices. This article introduces a framework designed to help you plan any major event with confidence and ease. Integrated with ChatGPT and GenAI, these tools include suggested prompts to accelerate decision-making and guide you toward the best outcomes. Using the example of my son Josh and daughter-in-law Sydney’s wedding, I’ll illustrate key concepts that apply to events of all kinds. The goal is simple: to guide you in making decisions that harmonize costs, emotions, and, most importantly, create an unforgettable experience for your guests.
Photo Credit: Sarah Peterson
Table of contents
Background Introduces the key decision-making challenges in event planning and the benefits of applying choice architecture to simplify the process.
Event Planning Framework – An Introduction Provides an overview of the framework used to optimize event decisions by focusing on guest experience and managing costs.
Making Decisions Count: Applying the Event Success Framework to Any Event Uses a wedding as a real-world example to illustrate how event planning principles can be applied effectively.
Event Decision Support Solutions - How to Do It Discusses decision-support tools that streamline the process of making event-related trade-offs and improve planning outcomes.
Appendix: Long-Term Financial Impact of Event Spending Explores the financial impact of event spending and how saving on event costs can lead to long-term financial benefits.
Resources for the Curious
A curated list of resources and citations for readers interested in exploring the decision-making, behavioral economics, and financial strategies behind successful event planning.
About the author: Jeff Hulett leads Personal Finance Reimagined, a decision-making and financial education platform. He teaches personal finance at James Madison University and provides personal finance seminars. Check out his book -- Making Choices, Making Money: Your Guide to Making Confident Financial Decisions.
Jeff is a career banker, data scientist, behavioral economist, and choice architect. Jeff has held banking and consulting leadership roles at Wells Fargo, Citibank, KPMG, and IBM.
To underscore the importance of decision-making in event planning, I conducted an informal survey among friends whose children recently got married. The results showed a clear divide. While most parents said it was essential that their children were involved in the decision-making process, half felt their kids truly owned the process. The other half admitted they stepped in too much, fearing their children weren’t equipped to make good decisions.
This division aligns with broader research in event planning and decision-making. Studies show that when individuals—whether planning a wedding or corporate event—retain decision-making agency, they report greater satisfaction with the event's outcome. Conversely, over-involvement by others can increase stress and diminish their sense of accomplishment. For example, research by psychologist Barry Schwartz on decision-making agency shows that individuals are more satisfied when they feel empowered to make their own choices, even when those choices aren't perfect. In event planning, this translates into building confidence through experience.
Additionally, studies on decision fatigue, such as those conducted by Roy F. Baumeister, highlight how the accumulation of small decisions can lead to burnout, making it more difficult to focus on larger, more important choices. By implementing decision-support tools early in the process, event planners can avoid this fatigue and create a more enjoyable, balanced event-planning experience.
This article provides a framework for simplifying those decisions, ensuring that your next big event—whether a wedding, a business conference, or a major family gathering—achieves success by focusing on what matters most: how your guests feel and the memories they’ll take away.
2. Wedding and event framework - an introduction
Planning a significant event, whether a wedding or corporate gathering, requires careful consideration of many moving parts. While it’s easy to get caught up in the details, true event success hinges on two key pillars: Community Trade and Event Emotions. These pillars help you focus on what truly matters—how guests feel about the event and the lasting memories they carry.
Event Success Principle: How guests FEEL after the event will govern their perception of the event.
Next, is our framework supporting this event principle. It shows the critical aspects of building a great memory of your event.
Framework to activate your event community
This Event Success Principle is supported by 2 pillars.
Pillar 1 – The Community Trade
Events are not just about the hosts but the community of guests they gather. Successful events create a reciprocal exchange: hosts provide an environment where guests can connect and engage, and in return, guests validate the hosts’ efforts through their enjoyment. For instance, at a wedding, guests bring love and joy as their contribution, while the couple provides an atmosphere fostering those emotions. Similarly, at a corporate event, the host creates networking opportunities, and attendees respond with validation through engagement and future business.
A wedding serves as the perfect example of this dynamic. My son Josh and daughter-in-law Sydney carefully selected their venue not based on grandeur but on how it would facilitate meaningful interactions among guests. This decision reflects the event’s core purpose—creating opportunities for the community to connect and enjoy the experience, rather than simply impressing with material details.
The Wedding Trade
The Corporate Event Trade
Pillar 2 - Event Emotions:
The second pillar highlights how guests feel about an event is far more memorable than the material facts. Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman’s work on behavioral psychology reveals the "remembering self" holds onto two main points of an event: the peak emotional intensity and the final moments. These emotional anchors often overshadow event facts such as décor, food, or seating arrangements. For example, while I can’t recall specific details from my own wedding like the exact food or attire, I clearly remember the joy and warmth shared with our guests during the evening’s final toast.
This emotional emphasis is equally relevant to corporate events, where the focus should be on how attendees feel about the connections they’ve made or the curiosity the event sparked. Research consistently shows emotions, not facts, are what guests retain long after the event has passed. For this reason, it’s critical to design events that culminate in a memorable peak, such as a heartfelt final speech or a powerful last dance, which cements the emotional experience for attendees.
Kahneman’s insights stress the importance of finishing strong. Whether it’s a wedding or a corporate gala, the emotional tone at the end leaves the most lasting impression. Event planners should focus on these emotional peaks to ensure guests walk away with enduring positive memories.
The Power of Event Facts vs. Event Emotions
While the facts of an event—such as food quality or decorations—are still necessary to plan, they should take a backseat to event emotions. For instance, choosing a buffet over a plated dinner might reduce costs, but it can also increase community interaction, enhancing the emotional connection guests feel. This is where the Event Success Principle comes into play: prioritize decisions that maximize positive emotions for guests over those that merely look impressive on paper.
Warren Buffett’s Timeless Wisdom
Warren Buffett's quote perfectly encapsulates this approach: “Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.” The focus should not be on how much is spent on event facts, but on how much value—particularly emotional value—guests derive from the event. When planning any event, from a wedding to a business conference, always prioritize the emotional experience. The memories your guests leave with will far outweigh any fleeting impressions created by expensive décor or lavish meals.
3. Making Decisions Count: Applying the Event Success Framework to Any Event
While we use a wedding as the primary example in this section, the principles discussed can apply to any large event, whether a corporate gala, milestone birthday, or community fundraiser. The same decision-making frameworks that simplify wedding planning will help you navigate the complexities of any significant event.
Rule of Thumb: Focus on the Joy and Love of Your Community
A guiding principle for any large event is to keep the joy and love of your community at the forefront of your decision-making. By focusing on the experiences and emotions of your guests, you naturally deprioritize less important "event facts" like extravagant décor or premium meal options. As long as your guests feel connected and valued, the event will succeed.
This is where the Event Success Principle comes into play: How guests FEEL after the event will govern their perception of the event. Apply this principle to guide decisions that enhance emotional connections while controlling unnecessary costs.
Applying the Event Success Principle
Consider a corporate gala where the host faces a choice between hiring an expensive live band or opting for a curated playlist that aligns with the event’s theme. While a live band may offer a more formal touch, it significantly increases the event's cost and might not necessarily enhance the guests' experience. In this case, a curated playlist allows the hosts to focus resources on other elements—such as a cocktail reception or interactive networking activities—that foster a relaxed, welcoming environment for guests.
By choosing a playlist over a live band, the host aligns with the Event Success Principle: enhancing community interaction and emotional connection without spending excessively on details that may not create lasting memories. Guests are likely to leave remembering the engaging conversations and the inviting atmosphere rather than the formality of a live performance.
The takeaway? Prioritize decisions that cultivate positive emotions and meaningful interactions. When the event’s energy focuses on community connection, the event’s success follows naturally.
5 Examples of Applying the Event Success Principle
Buffet vs. Plated Dinner Opting for a buffet instead of a formal plated dinner lowers costs and encourages guest interaction, enhancing community connection.
Mid-Week Event Hosting part of your event during the week, rather than on the weekend, can reduce venue costs without sacrificing the guest experience.
Venue Choice – Barn vs. Ballroom A barn wedding may cost significantly less than a ballroom wedding, and most guests will care more about the warmth of the environment than the luxury of the venue.
Personal Toast Asking a friend or family member to give a heartfelt toast creates an emotional moment that guests will remember far longer than any decoration details.
Involving Friends in Photography Encouraging guests to take candid photos allows them to participate and creates a personal touch, leading to lasting memories at no additional cost.
Budgeting and Trade-offs
When setting a budget for your event, use it as a tool to make thoughtful trade-offs. For example, Josh and Sydney carefully evaluated where to spend and where to save. They chose a venue that was lovely but reasonably priced, knowing their friends wouldn’t remember every detail of the setting—what mattered most was the warm, inviting atmosphere that encouraged connection.
This is the power of the Event Success Principle. If people don’t tend to remember specific details like food or décor, you can allocate funds to areas that more directly influence the guest experience. By applying these principles, you’ll avoid the trap of needlessly overspending. However, if these trade-offs aren’t properly considered, there’s a risk of spending too much on "event facts" that won’t leave a lasting impact.
We will be introducing decision technology later to further assist with making these trade-offs clear and manageable, ensuring your resources are spent in the most impactful ways.
Parent Help – A Perspective from Experience
As a parent who has helped guide this process, I’ve learned that it’s essential to provide support without overstepping. Your goal should be to offer decision-making agency to the couple or event planners. As they learn to make decisions together, they’ll develop confidence, which is valuable well beyond the event itself. Resist the temptation to take over. Instead, provide guidance, and let them own the process.
Also, remember that every dollar spent on the event represents a trade-off. The money could be put toward their future—whether that means contributing to a nest egg, a home, or a child’s education. By framing event spending in this broader context, you help ensure wise, future-focused decisions.
Parents can be helpful, but ultimately, this is the event planner’s moment to shine. Your role is to guide, not control, and to help them apply the principles to create a memorable, meaningful event without losing sight of the long-term.
4. Event decision support solutions - How to Do It
Making the best decisions for a large event like a wedding or corporate gathering can be daunting. With so many moving parts and various options to consider, having a structured approach is essential. This section provides practical tools to help you manage the decision-making process efficiently and effectively. The goal is not only to make decisions easier but to accelerate the process, inspire confidence, and ensure transparency.
Chat GPT prompt: "Can you suggest templates for building a wedding budget, with breakdowns of typical expenses, priority-based allocations, and flexible categories for both high-level and itemized planning?"
Practical Tools for Better Decision-Making
The key to making sound decisions in event planning is having access to tools that organize and simplify the process. Decision-support apps, like Definitive Choice, provide a user-friendly interface while leveraging proven decision science algorithms to streamline the decision-making experience. These tools allow you to enter your criteria (e.g., what’s important for the event) and alternatives (e.g., your venue, catering, or entertainment options) and quickly compare them in bite-sized rankings. Tools like Definitive Choice are integrated with Chat GPT and the latest Gen AI capabilities.
One of the most powerful features of these apps is their ability to help you stay organized and focused, even when there’s a lot to consider. Instead of getting overwhelmed by too many choices, these tools break the decision process into manageable pieces, making it easier to reach an informed conclusion.
Benefits of the Decision Process: A-C-T
Using decision-support technology provides several distinct benefits, summarized by the acronym Decision A-C-T:
A – Acceleration of the Decision Time is often a critical factor in event planning. Decisions need to be made quickly, and new information or changing circumstances can emerge that require immediate attention. A consistent, repeatable decision process like this allows for quick integration of new information. Once routinized, decisions can be made rapidly without sacrificing quality, ensuring you stay on track.
C – Confidence in the Decision One of the greatest benefits of a structured decision process is the confidence it inspires in those making the choices. When you follow a process that evaluates your options clearly and systematically, you’re much more likely to feel confident in the final decision. This confidence translates into better buy-in from everyone involved—whether it’s a wedding couple, family members, or a corporate planning team. People are more likely to act on decisions when they trust the process that got them there.
T – Transparency of the Decision Transparency is crucial, especially when working with a larger decision-making team. Decision-support tools provide reporting and create a clear record of how decisions were made. This transparency is especially helpful when collaborating with others, such as your parents, school counselors, or event planners. It ensures that everyone understands the reasoning behind each decision, and it allows for better analysis and evaluation of options.
The Decision A-C-T framework not only accelerates decision-making and inspires confidence but also leaves a trail of accountability that ensures transparency throughout the entire process.
Making It Easy to Collaborate
One of the most useful features of decision-support apps is the ease with which you can collaborate with others. Whether you’re planning a wedding with your future spouse or organizing a corporate event with a team, these tools enable multiple users to contribute to the process. You can share criteria and rankings with family members or other key stakeholders, making it easy to gather input without compromising either the efficiency of the process or the decision agency of the lead decision-makers.
For example, your mom, dad, or a trusted mentor can review decisions or provide feedback in real-time, while the app keeps everything organized and transparent. This collaborative approach not only speeds up decision-making but also ensures that everyone involved has a voice, ultimately leading to a more unified plan.
Decision Support in Action
Let’s say you’re choosing a wedding caterer. You’ve narrowed your options to three, and now you need to compare them based on six key criteria: food quality, cost, availability, guest experience, capacity, and drink options. Using the Definitive Choice app, you input these criteria and rank each caterer accordingly. The app will organize the data, generate reports, and help you quickly visualize which caterer best aligns with your priorities—whether you prioritize cost savings or maximizing guest satisfaction.
Chat GPT prompt: "What are the top 5 criteria for choosing a wedding caterer, focusing on factors that impact guest experience, budget, and overall event quality?"
5 Example Criteria for Selecting a Wedding Caterer:
Food Quality – Low Emotion As long as the food is good enough, it meets basic guest expectations without significantly affecting their overall emotional experience.
Availability – Low Emotion The caterer’s availability is essential for scheduling but has minimal impact on guests’ emotions, provided it doesn’t disrupt the event’s timing.
Guest Experience (Accessibility) – Medium-High Emotion Service style, such as a buffet, encourages guest mingling and interaction, fostering a warm, inclusive atmosphere that enhances emotional connection.
Capacity – Medium-High Emotion Ensuring ample food and staffing prevents discomfort, allowing guests to feel cared for and avoiding any negative feelings of scarcity.
Drink Options (Quality of Bar) – Low Emotion A basic bar selection meets most expectations; however, it usually doesn’t hold a significant place in guests' memories or emotional connection to the event.
These criteria reflect one person’s perspective; you and your partner may find different aspects more impactful for your event. This approach to evaluating priorities is a powerful way to take control of your event and assert your decision agency!
Tie-Breakers and the Event Success Principle
In cases where the decision is close, the Event Success Principle can serve as a powerful tie-breaker. If two caterers are comparable on cost and availability, but one offers a buffet (which encourages more interaction among guests) while the other provides a formal plated dinner, the decision should come down to which option will create more positive emotions and memorable guest experiences.
Always refer back to the core question: How will this choice make guests feel? In this example, a buffet might be the better option because it enhances the emotional connection between guests, fostering more community interaction and joy—key elements of the Event Success Principle.
A Simple, Powerful Tool
In summary, decision-support technology helps you streamline event planning by accelerating decisions, building confidence, and ensuring transparency. These tools are designed to make your life easier, leaving you with more time to focus on what truly matters: creating a memorable event that reflects the joy and love of your community.
5. Appendix: Long-Term Financial Impact of Event Spending
Planning a wedding or any large event can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re considering how to balance the immediate costs with long-term financial goals. But don’t worry—this section will guide you through how to think about event expenses in a way that aligns with both your present celebration and your future needs. Let’s walk through an example of different expenditure levels and what they could mean for your long-term financial outlook.
Example: Evaluating Expenditure Levels
Imagine that you have four potential expenditure levels for your event. At the lower end, you might host a more intimate gathering with modest costs, while at the higher end, you could opt for a more extravagant affair. The key is understanding the trade-offs each level presents—not just in terms of your event budget but in terms of how those choices affect your financial future.
Let’s say you’ve decided to keep your wedding attendance small and avoid overspending on venue or catering. This is a smart way to control costs. Now, let’s consider how choosing a “level 1” wedding (more modest spending) instead of a “level 4” wedding (the most extravagant option) might impact your long-term financial future.
By opting for the more modest approach, you’re not just saving money today—you’re potentially increasing your financial security years down the road. For instance, by choosing a “level 1” wedding over a “level 4,” the opportunity cost (i.e., the money you didn’t spend on the wedding) could translate into nearly $3 million in retirement savings if invested wisely over time.
Balancing Present Joy with Future Stability
Of course, this is your decision to make, and some people may decide, “Go Big or Go Home!” There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that if it aligns with your personal and financial goals. The important thing is to understand the trade-offs. As Warren Buffett wisely said, “Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.” Consider the long-term value of every dollar you spend today.
Reframing the Budget Conversation
Rather than asking yourself, “Is it worth spending $100,000 on a wedding?” try reframing the question:
“Is it worth giving up $3 million that could support my children’s education or my future retirement?”
This reframing helps you align your current spending with long-term financial priorities, offering you the freedom to celebrate your big event while keeping an eye on future financial stability.
Explore the Financial Model
To help you better understand these trade-offs, you can explore the Stoic's Arbitrage Wedding Model through this link. This tool will allow you to play with different assumptions—such as the age of marriage, retirement goals, or expected investment yields—and see how various spending levels impact your long-term financial future.
6. Resources for the curious
Kahneman, Daniel. Thinking, Fast and Slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2011.
Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman’s work on decision-making and the “remembering self” is foundational to understanding how people recall events based on emotional peaks and endings.
Schwartz, Barry. The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less. Harper Perennial, 2004.
This book explores how decision-making agency affects satisfaction, relevant to the section discussing guest involvement in event planning.
Baumeister, Roy F., and John Tierney. Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. Penguin Press, 2011.
Baumeister’s work on decision fatigue highlights how the accumulation of small decisions can impact larger event choices.
Thaler, Richard H., and Cass R. Sunstein. Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness. Penguin Books, 2009.
Thaler and Sunstein introduce choice architecture, the concept of designing environments to help people make better decisions, which aligns with how decision-support tools are used in event planning.
Mullainathan, Sendhil, and Eldar Shafir. Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much. Times Books, 2013.
This book provides insights into how limited resources (time, money, attention) shape decision-making, relevant to managing event budgets.
Ariely, Dan. Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions. HarperCollins, 2008.
Ariely’s work on behavioral economics helps explain why people might overspend on emotional aspects of events, like weddings, despite better alternatives.
Buffet, Warren. “Price is What You Pay, Value is What You Get.” Berkshire Hathaway Shareholder Letters, 2008.
This quote from Warren Buffet helps frame the trade-off between short-term spending and long-term financial value, essential to the budgeting discussion.
Kahneman, Daniel, and Amos Tversky. “Prospect Theory: An Analysis of Decision Under Risk.” Econometrica, vol. 47, no. 2, 1979, pp. 263–291.
Kahneman and Tversky’s research on prospect theory supports the decision trade-offs section, showing how people weigh potential gains and losses in financial decisions.
Thaler, Richard H. Misbehaving: The Making of Behavioral Economics. W.W. Norton & Company, 2015.
Thaler’s insights into behavioral economics help explain why people might overspend on events and how structured decision-making processes can improve outcomes.
Belsky, Gary, and Thomas Gilovich. Why Smart People Make Big Money Mistakes and How to Correct Them: Lessons from the New Science of Behavioral Economics. Simon & Schuster, 1999.
This book explains how cognitive biases lead to financial mistakes, relevant to understanding overspending in wedding and event planning.
The Stoic's Arbitrage: Your Personal Finance Journey Guide
Core Concepts
Making the money!
5. Career choices - They kept asking about what I wanted to do with my life, but what if I don't know? - Part 1
6. Career choices - They kept asking about what I wanted to do with my life, but what if I don't know? - Part 2
7. Career success - Success Pillars - A Life Journey Foundation
8. Career choices - Do I need to be a Data Scientist in an AI-enabled world?
9. Career choices - Diamonds In The Rough - A perspective on making high impact college hires
Spending the money!
10. Budgeting - Budgeting like a stoic
11. Home Buying - Homeownership is an important wealth-building platform
12. Car Buying - Cutting through complexity: A car buying approach
13. College choice - The College Decision - Framework and tools for investing in your future
14. College choice - College Success!
15. College choice - How to make money in Student Lending
16. Event spending - Wedding and event planning guiding principle
Investing the money!
Pulling it together!
Wedding Photographers from https://wezoree.com/vendors/chicago/photographers/ captured the most magical moments of our Chicago nuptials, and my husband and I couldn't be happier. When we try to put into words how happy we feel, we fall short. The moment we met their team, we knew we were receiving outstanding service. Because of their professionalism and kindness, they kept us calm and at ease the whole time. The emotions and memories they immortalized in each shot are a testament to their artistic vision and painstaking attention to detail. Wezoree, you have our deepest gratitude for exceeding our wildest dreams and making our special day one to remember forever.